My Obgyn.. The Big Bully

This may not be a happy story. But still, it is part of my journey of becoming mother to two sons..and my journey towards having a happy and empowering birth in the future; be it vaginal delivery or c-section.

I simply hate the fact that my doctor BULLIED me into TWO c-sections! Hate it soo much that I could not sleep well sometimes.

Maybe my pelvis is really small (not so relevent because baby’s head can mould to fit through) or really disfigured (well, i did have a good fall on my butt when i was 7 years old..but i don’t think my pelvic was disfigured), or maybe i do really need a c-section for other reasons, but there is a HUGE difference in having a caring doctor and a very insensitive one.

And my doctor belongs to the second category.

My first son was delivered via c-section even before i start feeling labour pain. One Monday morning of my 39th week, I had a bloody show. Since I was due for a CTG that morning, we straightaway went to the hospital. Doctor came for vaginal examination (VE), 3cm. “Your baby is in OP. Im afraid if we waited too long, the baby might be distressed.”, she said. “OK we wait for another hour, if there’s no progress, we proceed with c-section. “, she said. 45 minutes later, she came in to check again, no progress. “OK, csar!”, she said. It was not even a full hour, and I was fine, and my baby was fine. Maternal instincts is even more powerful than the not-so-accurate-most-of-the-time CTG machine, you know. I knew in my heart that i did not need the surgery, but i could not say that to my doctor because, well, shouldn’t doctors know better? The thing is, I don’t understand a single word what the doctor is saying!

Two and a half years later, my second baby was born, also via c-section. I actually had a bloody show and leaking amniotic fluid for over a week, and been in labour for a good three days and nights. On the third night, the contractions were so terribly painful that i could not sleep at all. I purposely laboured at home, because I know my doctor has marked me for another surgery. The midwife on duty connected the electronic fetal monitoring (EFM) machine to me and did VE and found that I was already 8cm dilated. She went to inform my doctor. So my doctor came, did VE and told me that my baby was in OP, and that i had CPD, just like my previous birth. My doctor explained roughly that OP is caused by cephalopelvic disorder (CPD), so my baby may not be able to turn and descend further, so i need a c-section. I still have no idea what the doctor is talking about, and how did it relate to my previous pregnancy. I only knew in my heart again that this doctor is purposely trying to get me through another emergency c-section again. So, when the stupid EFM machine sabotaged me by beeping loudly when my baby was actually fine, I knew that there is no way to avoid the surgery. My doctor even had the nerve to threaten me . She said, “Im afraid it would be dangerous, the shoulders might get stuck.” At that point, I knew that the doctor didnt care about me AT ALL!. She only want to be done with this case (like every other cases..well, i’m just another case to her) and get on to attending her many patients waiting at her door. I knew in my heart that she was bluffing me, but i couldn’t fight for my own rights, simply because ‘THE SHOULDERS MIGHT GET STUCK”! Who on earth wouldnt be scared of that?!

After my post partum period, i did a real research on my problems. I researched on OP, CPD, natural birth, hypnobirth and everything related. I am serious in making my dream come true for my coming deliveries. I want to birth as naturally as I can and feel the empowerment and triumph of having birthed the way I should, and I want to have many kids!

I swear I will not go back to that incompassionate robot doctor, nor to the hospital who had given me a very bad service. Yeah, the same hospital where my son was admitted and sent to OT simply for swallowing a tiny weeny fish bone.

Simply ask yourself this; do you really feel happy with your doctor? Does he/she really listen to your concerns and problems? Is she empathic, compassionate about her patients? Patients are real people, you know. Not just a doll, not just another task. Moreover, ask around. If Β her c-section rate is high, then there’s a chance that she is just like my doctor.

If you are unhappy with your doctor (caregiver), please find another one. It’s your right.

 

6 thoughts on “My Obgyn.. The Big Bully

  1. Bukan gynae dia je, MO dia, pakar ENT dia, paediatrician dia sume sama. Dah la servis teruk! Bayangkan saya tgh sakit contraction dah makin kuat tu nurse boleh sorong sy atas katil tu langgar dinding sana langgar dinding sini. Nak je sy hebohkan kat org tak payah pergi la hospital tu, teruk!

  2. Everyone wants the same end result: a healthy baby and a healthy mother- guessing ur Dr’s quick action for c-sec plus she havent tried her best to give you the feeling of experiencing d natural birth..u r juz like d natural birth advocate, but am a c-section mommy (as for now).. but every woman deserves a healthy, normal birth as well.. so be patient kak, in shaa Allah your time will come.. dont ever give up! its our right to choose which gynae is best for our needs! :)

  3. kakak ada join support group kat fb.. dalam group tu ada ramai mommies yg macam kakak jugak, kena csar tp naluri mereka tahu yg mereka sbnrnya xperlukan pembedahan tu..mereka tahu mereka mampu melahirkan anak secara normal.. dan dah ada yang berjaya membuktikannya selepas melalui 4 csar pun! bersalin kat rumah dalam pool (home waterbirth).. so hanging out with them gives me the spirit and courage to go thru the pain, dan menggiatkan lagi diri utk mencari ilmu tentang childbirth. insya allah my plan is, kalau boleh, kakak nak bersalin kat rumah suruh abg mie je sambut. but of course la after attending training and classes πŸ˜€ very much looking forward to it. rasa mcm x sabar dah nak dpt baby lagi..huhuhu

  4. hehe, patut la hr tu ckp nk baby sgt.. nk try kt rumah la ye.. i always love home waterbirth.. nanti kakak jd nk branak camtu, amek video tau tuk dd belajar sket2 πŸ˜›

  5. cakap nak baby tu sebab bila anak dah dua orang ni, rasa seronok sangat jaga anak2. sooo adorable~! pastu plak kakak start research dari sekarang, sebab lepas bersalin kat aiman dulu dok tangguh2 nak research..see how i end up :( another c-section padahal masa tu dah 8cm and i know i can deliver normally..so kakak kena la prepare dari sekarang supaya tak berulang lagi :) kalau takde masalah insya allah nak try homebirth/ home waterbirth..kalau kakak berjaya baru la bule wat kan utk dd.. πŸ˜€ i can b your doula

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